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Theory of the Field Hockey Stick is Revealed

  Can’t they make those field hockey sticks longer? All that hunching. Those poor girls. Who can hunch for that long? My back hurts just watching them. Think of all that lower back pain. And how can they run properly while hunching? They can’t. They try, but maximum speed? Not a chance. And has anyone […]

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An Open Letter to High School Graduates

Congratulations! Take a bow; you deserve it. I’m sure you worked very hard. High school is tough these days, and it’s nearly impossible to sail through without tenacity and effort, especially if you are ambitious and have your sights set on future greatness of some kind. By “future greatness,” of course, I mean your own […]

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The Best Advice

photo by drburtoni During a recent interview for a book blog, I was asked what was the best piece of advice I had ever been given. The interviewer most likely meant writing advice, but all I could think of was the time a dentist told me it didn’t matter when someone flossed their teeth, just […]

Connie Dwyer Breast Center Spring Luncheon Keynote

Connie Dwyer Breast Center Spring Luncheon

I was so honored to meet the inspiring Connie Dwyer at the Connie Dwyer Breast Center Annual Spring Luncheon where I was invited to speak about the writing and publishing of The Memory Box and the topics of the day: Perseverance, Gratitude and Women Empowering Women. The Connie Dwyer Breast Center is a comprehensive, state-of-the-art […]

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An Open Letter to Pigs (And Other Picky Eaters)

photo by David Merrett Dear Pigs, By the way, may I call you that? Pigs? It’s meant with the utmost respect, and after all, it is your name. Believe me, pig. I’ve never used your name in vain when referring to perverts or sleazeballs. I don’t know who started that. Uncool. Nor have I ever […]

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Winter is a (Big Fat) Liar

photo by Luigi Torreggiani Winter drags its massive lumbering heels on its way to meet Spring. Its hair has grown long, its thick woolly layers are tattered and dirty. Spring should be close, should be here, but it’s impossible to see. Not with Winter’s defiant air—harsh and billowing, relentless—it bullies the sweet, green Spring away. […]

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Swimsuit Torture Part II: Call the Paramedics

My objective was to make swimsuit shopping as painless as possible. The environment would be key. I needed a calm store with wide open aisles, soft music, helpful salespeople. Crawling under a disheveled clothing rack, searching for the elusive bottom to the perfect top, or wrenching it from the clutches of a woman who believed […]

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My Secret Hair Fantasy

I will let you in on a little secret. I sometimes fantasize that someday all human beings will be born bald. Okay, I know, a sizable percentage of humans are currently born bald. But I mean, stay bald. Like, never grow hair. An entire hairless human race. You might think a comment like that would […]

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Thermostat Troubles

Don’t you just hate those freezing cold nights when you wear your warmest flannel pajamas and thickest socks and hurry into bed but are still surprised by the smack of cold that comes off the sheets, so you pull the blankets up to your chin, even that one at the foot of the bed—you yank […]

The Long and Short on Memory

The Long and Short on Memory

How’s your memory? Certainly, if you’re anything like me you’ve probably had questions like these pop up from time to time: What’s her name again? Where do I know him from? Why did I open this closet? Where did I put my keys? What’s her phone number? Some forgetfulness is innocent and normal and happens […]

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