How to make cleaning toilets more enjoyable.

How to make cleaning toilets more enjoyable.

In an effort to make cleaning toilets more enjoyable, I’ve made a game out of it. I recommend you try this; it’s endless fun. After playing this game with some regularity and frequency, I’ve been forced to do a bit of soul searching and I’ve come to realize I’ll never be a hall-of-famer at this […]

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Summer’s Hottest Trends: Fashion Deja Vu

Last weekend I got dressed for a party and selected a shirt at my daughter’s urging. This shirt was purchased at my daughter’s urging in a moment of merciless exhaustion. The kind of exhaustion one experiences after shopping with one’s teenage daughter for long hours with a no-end-in-sight spirit. Hours linked together by caffeine runs […]

Got Multiples? Baby Names for a Brood

Got Multiples? Baby Names for a Brood

Practically every time I turn on the computer, I see this headline: “Hottest Baby Names for 2013.” I could’ve used that fourteen years ago when I was pregnant with my first. I knew for nine whole months that a baby would be coming at the end of it, sufficient enough time to figure out a […]

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Let the Storms Come

The wind’s fury can lash bruises across my skin. Uproot my soul. Lightening can pierce a chasm through my heart, as thunder deafens promises. The rains pelt my resolve and flood my eyes. Watch my bearings rattle as the earth crumbles under foot. An avalanche can bury me. The light is snuffed but I’m not […]

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An Open Letter to Pigs

Dear Pigs, By the way, may I call you that? Pig? It’s meant with the utmost respect, and after all, it is your name. Believe me. I’ve never used your name in vain when referring to perverts or sleazeballs. I don’t know who started that. Uncool. Nor have I ever said, “go clean up, you […]

Leggo My Eggo, You Dear-Burgler

Leggo My Eggo, You Dear-Burgler

I wasn’t going to admit this to anyone, because the last time I did, it was met with uproarious laughter.  But this morning, eleven years later, I’ve been vindicated by The New York Times. In the fall of 2011 my husband and I moved from Manhattan, with our two children, to the New Jersey suburbs.  […]

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Grab Your Flashlight, We’re Going Back-To-School Shopping

“What do you think of this?”  My daughter held something up for me to see.    If I squinted I could detect the outline of a shirt, dimly lit from behind. “Wait a second,” I said, “my eyes need to adjust.”  My rods and hadn’t yet adapted to the near darkness of the store. We had […]

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Fashion Faux Pas

A three-year-old’s summer wardrobe costs what?!?!   Apparently, upscale designer clothing for children is a growing business.  I recently read an article in which several moms were interviewed about their shopping habits for the little ones.  One woman just spent $10,000 on her daughter’s summer wardrobe.  After cleaning the lenses of my glasses and re-counting the […]

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Burned at Both Ends

When I was a child my parents lived by the adage: children are to be seen, not heard and that other one, children speak only when spoken to. Though I may have had thoughts, questions, comments, theories, ideas, advice, stories, jokes, insights, musings, songs, confusion, I kept them to myself.  Well, at least I tried.  […]

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