Donald Trump to CNN and FOX: You’re Fired!

photo by Gage Skidmore Sources close to the presidential candidate claim that Trump’s problem with CNN and FOX is “they’re morons.” In an effort to be represented in the most honest and fair light, it is reported that Trump has just bought his own network: Trump That Media. Donald Trump blames his slide in the […]

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An Open Letter to Pigs (And Other Picky Eaters)

photo by David Merrett Dear Pigs, By the way, may I call you that? Pigs? It’s meant with the utmost respect, and after all, it is your name. Believe me, pig. I’ve never used your name in vain when referring to perverts or sleazeballs. I don’t know who started that. Uncool. Nor have I ever […]

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Rate Yourself As A Mom On A Scale of 1 To 10

photo by Alio Viera The other night at dinner, I sat at the kitchen table with my teenage daughter. Some nights, “family dinner” means just us two. I’ve been getting used to making dinners that are easy to scoop out and reheat in a flash. Teenagers are here one minute, gone the next. And I’m […]

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Bad Book Reviews: One Author’s Reaction

It is widely known that if you’re fortunate enough to have written and published a book and lucky enough to have people talk about it, comments will run the gamut from good to bad, with many shades of mediocre in between. I say lucky enough to have people talk about it because that’s the point, […]

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How to Write, How to Blog or How to Craft: An Easy Tutorial

Have you ever wanted to try your hand at writing, but didn’t know where to begin? How about blogging? Or crafting? Well, it’s all here in one super easy tutorial. Check out my newest post on the HuffPo: Easy Tutorial: How to Write, or How to Make Paper Snowball Garlands photo by Turinboy (Read now […]

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Bathing Suit Torture. Part I

If there’s a downside to taking a trip to Barbados in April, for a week of repose on an idyllic beach, that thing would be the premature torture of bathing suit shopping. Of course one could argue, why go bathing suit shopping? You’re going to a tiny island in the Caribbean, not the town pool. […]

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My Secret Hair Fantasy

I will let you in on a little secret. I sometimes fantasize that someday all human beings will be born bald. Okay, I know, a sizable percentage of humans are currently born bald. But I mean, stay bald. Like, never grow hair. An entire hairless human race. You might think a comment like that would […]

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I Never Lie About My Age, Intentionally

Once, for a whole year I claimed to be older than I was. A doctor’s receptionist corrected me. My “birthdate” and “age” didn’t match up. It’s not that I have a strict policy about not lying; it’s just that I don’t think one’s age represents all that much so I don’t get too hyperbolic about […]

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The Cicadas are Here! (Now leave.)

photo by David Hill Seventeen years ago−the last time the Periodical Cicadas reared their creepy, red-eyed heads−I was living in New York City. I’ve existed, my entire life, unaware of this species of critter. All that has changed. Now I live in New Jersey, and when I heard that the “cicadas were coming,” I had […]