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Winter is a (Big Fat) Liar

photo by Luigi Torreggiani Winter drags its massive lumbering heels on its way to meet Spring. Its hair has grown long, its thick woolly layers are tattered and dirty. Spring should be close, should be here, but it’s impossible to see. Not with Winter’s defiant air—harsh and billowing, relentless—it bullies the sweet, green Spring away. […]

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Swimsuit Torture Part II: Call the Paramedics

My objective was to make swimsuit shopping as painless as possible. The environment would be key. I needed a calm store with wide open aisles, soft music, helpful salespeople. Crawling under a disheveled clothing rack, searching for the elusive bottom to the perfect top, or wrenching it from the clutches of a woman who believed […]

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Bathing Suit Torture. Part I

If there’s a downside to taking a trip to Barbados in April, for a week of repose on an idyllic beach, that thing would be the premature torture of bathing suit shopping. Of course one could argue, why go bathing suit shopping? You’re going to a tiny island in the Caribbean, not the town pool. […]

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California Chrome’s Personal Stylist Comes Clean on the Nasal Strips

I shouldn’t tell you this, but as California Chrome’s personal stylist, my name is being dragged through the mud over this nasal strip fiasco, and I need to tell my story before People Magazine hears it elsewhere. Full disclosure: C.C. is my first horse client. However, I’m no stranger to four-leggers with a discerning pedigree. […]

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My Secret Hair Fantasy

I will let you in on a little secret. I sometimes fantasize that someday all human beings will be born bald. Okay, I know, a sizable percentage of humans are currently born bald. But I mean, stay bald. Like, never grow hair. An entire hairless human race. You might think a comment like that would […]

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The Carry-On Challenge: a new way to pack travel clothes

The last time I packed for a trip to Europe I was going to Italy to attend a writers conference in Positano. Traveling there from New Jersey would necessitate a flight to Rome and another to Naples, then a drive down the steep, winding, breathtaking roadways to Positano. Before my trip, the very mention of […]

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Summer’s Hottest Trends: Fashion Deja Vu

Last weekend I got dressed for a party and selected a shirt at my daughter’s urging. This shirt was purchased at my daughter’s urging in a moment of merciless exhaustion. The kind of exhaustion one experiences after shopping with one’s teenage daughter for long hours with a no-end-in-sight spirit. Hours linked together by caffeine runs […]

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My Maiden Voyage in Girdle Top Pantyhose

Must they be called that? Geez. I plucked a package from the display rack and quickly slid my thumb over the words Girdle Top, while hunching my shoulders around the cardboard package. The g-word made me cringe. I couldn’t believe I’d gotten myself in this position. It brought back a vision of my grandmother, a […]

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Fashion Designers Microbe-Manage NY Fashion Week

It’s hard to believe, but the same folks who’ve instigated fashion induced bunions, sciatica, sprained ankles, deep vein thrombosis, acid reflux, yeast infections and constipation, have concocted ways to avert colds and flu during NY Fashion Week crunch time. The fashion industry might’ve been in typical panic mode, but this year the 2013 Fall Collections […]

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